One of my previous bosses complimented me in an interesting yet confusing way by once describing me as a “bobo doll.” At the time, I had no idea what that meant or what a Bobo doll was. After she described the doll, I remembered having a Mr. T ‘bop bag’ when I was a kid.
Why a Bobo doll?
When I was selected to be promoted to a management position, I asked my previous boss why I was selected when I knew other vetted candidates had more technical skills. She answered by giving me the “I can teach you the technical skills” speech, then described the Bobo doll analogy.
She said, “You have the ability to take hits and handle mistakes no matter how difficult it gets. You stay positive, pop back up, and aren’t affected; you’re just like a Bobo doll.” She added, “To be successful in leadership, you have to be able to get back up no matter how hard it gets or how many mistakes you make, and, Jared, it gets hard.” For reference, she always used my first name in the middle of a coaching point when she wanted it to sink in.
After that conversation, I was not as excited that her compliment would ultimately lead to impending doom. She was predicting a mass of future failures I would experience and hits I would take per her Bobo ‘prophesy.’ I thought I was getting promoted for my excellence, not my ability to fail well.
Over the years, whenever I make a mistake or something doesn’t go as planned, I can’t forget the vision of that Bobo doll. Fortunately, it always “pops back up.”
Relentless Positivity
During my tenure as a collegiate head baseball coach, I taught a Theory of Coaching class in which I discussed Jim Thompson’s book Positive Coaching. The author often emphasizes the term “relentless positivity” throughout the book.
In short, Thompson encourages coaches of youth sports players to never utter a word of negativity. This advice sparked great debates among college athletes in the classroom. Thompson also encourages the reader to look at every error, failure, or mistake as the “lifeblood of learning.” As we all know, learning and developing are the keys to growth and will be our keys as we make the executive journey.
Referring back to the Bobo doll, it is important to remember that not only does it pop back up, but it looks the same as before the hit. It’s ready for another hit, ready for another challenge; it’s relentless.
Pop Back Up
So why not pop back up when you get knocked down? Exercise relentless positivity and pop back up, like a Bobo doll, with the same positive attitude and outlook before you take the hit. We’ve all heard the different clichés about getting back up after you’ve been hit, but more importantly, what do you look like after? Do you look completely defeated, or can you pop back up, dust yourself off, and get right back in the fight and be just as confident and optimistic?
Are you relentlessly positive? The C-suites notice. Your peers notice. Your direct reports notice.
Do you?
I can’t help but stop here and steal from the immortal Coach Ted Lasso, who explained why the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because it has “a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish…”
I’ve made errors in my career, which caused me to shed a tear while apologizing to my CEO. However, that is genuine emotion, and I’m always private to the appropriate person, never inappropriately public, and always short in term. One thing I do know is that all those experiences sharpen us. And while they sting, we can be better for them and grow. As executives, we are in this for the long game. We must understand that tackling the next moment or challenge, learning from our mistakes, and being relentlessly positive through the stumbles allow us to succeed forward.
I’m grateful someone could put a name to that attribute, I just wish it was a cooler name than ‘Bobo’.
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